


To New Beginnings

by an_unbreakable_connection



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Gen, Haircuts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Ienzo is bad at coping, Mild Blood, Post-Canon, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Pre-Relationship, but he's trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21966838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_unbreakable_connection/pseuds/an_unbreakable_connection
Summary: Who knew that having a heart would be so difficult?This was something that he asked himself quite frequently in the last few weeks.Ienzo finds it more and more difficult to forgive himself for his past. Fortunately there is a newcomer to the castle that may be able to lend him a hand.Set after the events of Kingdom Hearts III
Relationships: Demyx & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Even & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	To New Beginnings

After Xehanort had finally met his end, everything seemed to fall back into place. Radiant Garden was beginning to feel like a home again. 

Ienzo and Even had been spending their days organizing information, and searching for anything that could be of use to the keyblade wielders in their seemingly never-ending search to find Sora. 

This information included physical files as well as ones stored on the main computer console in the lab. It was tedious work to say the least, as well as incredibly boring. Every file was becoming a blur, each one the same as the next, but what else were they to do? 

They weren’t exactly needed much anymore were they? Not a necessity in the slightest. 

“Stop that.” Ienzo said to himself, forgetting that Even was in the room with him. 

He pulled at the ends of his hair, a habit that had recently formed from stress.

“What is the matter?” Even asked, turning from his papers to look at Ienzo.

Even had grown quite overprotective of him since their return to Radiant Garden. The relationship that they had prior to becoming nobodies had resurfaced. Only this time he wasn’t a child that needed protecting. At least, that was his opinion on the matter.

Perhaps he should run away from the castle, not telling anyone where he was going, just to have Even chase after him for old times sake.

They had chosen not to speak of their time as Vexen and Zexion. Deep down they both knew this wasn't the healthiest answer to their problems, but in the end they decided that it would be for the best if they just apologized to one another and tried to forget. This of course was easier said than done.

“I’m just talking to myself, no need to worry.” Ienzo’s eyes went back to the screen in front of him. 

Even walked across the room to where Ienzo was sitting. 

“I don’t believe you.” He replied bluntly

“You worry too much Even.” He knew he wasn’t getting out of this one easily. 

“I do.” 

Even carefully grabbed his wrist, pulling it away from the section of hair that Ienzo had still been tugging at. He moved Ienzo’s hand to the desk in front of them, placing his own hand on top of it.

Even’s hands were ice cold as always

“You are worried over something.” He sighed, trying to match Ienzo’s gaze. It wasn’t returned. 

“I’m just tired, I’ll make myself some coffee and I’ll be fine.” This was his usual excuse and he could tell by Even’s face that he wasn’t buying it. 

In all honesty, he was tired, exhausted even. Any attempt at sleep lately was met with insomnia or horrible nightmares. It wasn’t worth it, attempting to get a good night’s sleep, so lately he found himself in the library reading a book instead. 

Why was this reformed body so terrible to him? 

Thinking about it, Aeleus had found him multiple times in the library, reading when he should have been resting. Perhaps Even had become aware of this as well. 

“Aeleus told me.”

Of course he did.

“If there is something going on you need to tell me. Let me help you Ienzo, please.”

Ienzo released his hand from under Even’s.

“You are overreacting, that is all that is happening. He stood from his chair. “I’m going to take a break.” 

He grabbed the book he was working with and left with a huff, relieved that Even didn’t follow him. 

* * *

His bedroom was quite plain, it always had been. The glow in the dark stars that still stuck to the ceiling being the only real decoration. His room was admittedly a bit sad and empty looking, but it didn’t really bother him. He wasn’t in there very often anyway.

He took his lab coat off and set it on his desk chair, he always felt so strange when he took it off. Who was he if he was not a scientist, if he did not wear the coat? 

He sighed at himself with a small smile. “What are you even saying to yourself Ienzo?”

The mirror on his desk has been covered by him with a black sheet shortly after his return. He had no desire to look at it. He knew that he had become quite skinny, more so then before, and that his hair was messy and unkempt. He could also feel the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. Ienzo knew all of this already, so what necessity was a mirror? 

Ienzo continued to the library, carrying a stack of books he had collected from his room.

* * *

“Ienzo.” That was Even’s voice.

“Yes?” 

“I figured I would find you here.” His voice was soft, he didn’t seem too upset over Ienzo taking his leave.

“Yes.”

“You must know, if you need to take time for yourself you should tell me. There is no use to working yourself to death.” Even crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Perhaps you should take your own advice on occasion.”

“No need to be smart with me.”

Just as their earlier spout, this was just how conversations with them went, it was normal. It was the Zexion and Vexen still left in them coming to the surface. This was apparent, though neither of them would ever admit it. 

Aeleus concluded that it was because they were so similar that they bickered so much. Ienzo agreed with him. 

“It’s nice outside, go.” Even gestured towards the door.

Well, that was that.

* * *

He brought a book with him. One of the many that he had been studying throughout the afternoon. As he left the library he took in his surroundings as he walked into the main entrance of the castle. The walls had been repainted, the cracks that used to make them up filled in. It looked so much nicer than it was when he was first recompleted just a short time ago. The heels of his shoes clicked against the freshly cleaned floors. 

Aeleus and Dilan stood guard at the front of the castle as they always did. He nodded to them as he walked by. 

Ienzo headed towards the outer gardens, where he finally settled in a little secluded corner. He sat with his back against one of the garden's stone walls. He opened the book he held, one on the topic of worlds and multiple dimensions. He had borrowed it from Ansem’s personal collection. 

Perhaps this would be the book that would finally give them some insight on Sora’s disappearance or how to get him back. Every time Ienzo thought of Sora he felt guilty, whether it was justified or not. 

He was trusted to help Sora on his journey, to keep him on track. To both give him any information that he needed, and to aid in saving Roxas. He had failed. Sora was gone, and they had no leads to finding him. More than anything, Ienzo’s heart hurt for Sora and those close to him.

It had taken a lot to muster up the courage to ask Ansem if he could borrow the book. Ienzo’s eyes had fallen onto it in one of his visits to his office. As he could have guessed, the answer he was given was “Of course Ienzo, take whatever you like!” which was paired with a bright smile. 

Why was it so hard to talk to him? To ask him something so simple? Him being someone who loved him so much. Strange.

As he leaned forward to continue his reading he pulled his hair back from out in front of his face, tucking it behind his ear. Of course it never stayed like this long, it quickly began to fall back into his face with every small movement he made. It was of course bothersome, though there was no way he would outwardly admit that. Especially anywhere near Even. 

It was almost funny to him that his hair seemed to bother Even more than himself. Or at least, it seemed that way, considering the comments that it provoked from him.

“It is not possible that all of that hanging in front of your face doesn’t bother you in any way.”

“You have two perfectly good eyes and you refuse to use them, how wasteful.”

Those two stood out, there were many more of course, it was silly really. It’s only hair after all.

As he was distracted by his thoughts, Ienzo hadn’t noticed that Aeleus had been walking through the garden towards him. He jumped a little when he spoke his name. 

“Ienzo.” 

“Hello Aeleus” He had to bend his neck backwards to meet his gaze, why was it that everyone in the castle was tall except for him?

“Dinner will be ready soon, Ansem wanted you to know.”

“Ah I see, thank you for letting me know.”

Ansem had insisted that they all eat dinner together when they could, in order to bond or something of that sort. Though the concept seemed simple enough, dinners were usually quite awkward between them all. At least currently they were. Dinner was definitely not an event he looked forward to.

He had also insisted that they refer to him as just "Ansem" as opposed to "Master Ansem". As he didn't feel as though he was deserving of the title anymore. Ienzo himself had been finding it quite difficult to just refer to him by his name. It just felt wrong.

“Are you feeling okay.” Aeleus looked down at him, genuine concern showed on his face.

“I’m just fine. No need to worry” He was getting tired of being asked that same question.

Aeleus looked straight ahead. “It is my job to worry.” he spoke flatly 

“You are free to take a break from that at anytime.” Ienzo gave him a small smile. 

They walked back up the steps to the castle without another word. 

* * *

Dinner went on as usual, everyone was there, save for one of course. Braig was still gone, and none of them had any clue where he was. Knowing Braig, he would show up eventually, pretending that nothing happened, and then Dilan would proceed to kick his ass back out of the castle. 

Ienzo couldn't speak for the others, but just knowing that he was alive would be enough to calm his nerves about his whereabouts. It just didn't make sense that he hadn't been recompleted yet.

There were, however, no empty seats at the table. Braig’s seat was taken by another. Them being Demyx, or, whoever he was now. He said he couldn’t remember his somebody name, and that was that. Ansem had let him stay provided he help around the castle, and that he had. If Ienzo was to be honest he enjoyed Demyx being around, he brought some life into the castle, a job which was previously taken by Braig. 

He couldn’t even imagine what the castle would be with both of them in it. An ungodly disaster most likely. 

The table remained quiet, only the sounds of silverware on plates broke the silence. That was until Dilan spoke up. His voice made Ienzo jump. 

“Have you found anything useful yet? In the files.” He looked towards Even. 

“Not anything that would be of use, even for us personally. Everything that we have been finding is either outdated information or has no relation to what we are currently looking for.”

“And what are you looking for exactly?” Dilan squinted his eyes at him. 

“Obviously, something that could help the keyblade wielders find their friend. You might have heard of him… Sora was it?” Even’s sarcasm was quite apparent. Dilan was visibly unamused. “Is it possible that you have been absent the past few months?” He spoke sharply 

“Less than you’ve been, always holding yourself up in that lab for days at a time.

“Even, you hypocrite.” Ienzo muttered to himself.

“That’s enough!” Ansem’s voice easily rose above all the others. The conversation seemed then to end at that point, and Ienzo was glad of that. Unfortunately another one quickly took its place.

“Perhaps this isn’t worth it.” Even spoke, his eyes looking down towards his plate. It was still mostly full with uneaten food. “We have found nothing of value, and I feel like we have run ourselves into a corner.” 

Ienzo looked up from his plate. Even wasn’t serious was he? He’d never seen Even give up on something like this… What was going on?

Ansem spoke his opinion as well. “You may be right, there are many other things that we could be putting our attention towards. Rebuilding the rest of Radiant Garden is a priority that definitely needs more attention at this time considering the growing population ” Ienzo noticed that he had only been picking at his food as well. 

Were they giving up? Ienzo watched them carefully as they spoke. What could he even say in this instance?

He wished he was Demyx right about now, who wasn’t required to have a word in this matter. He continued to eat throughout the conversation.

“What do you think, Dilan?” Ansem asked 

“I don’t even need time to think about it. Our work ethic needs to shift towards Radiant Garden. Though unfortunate, it is becoming quite clear that bringing Sora back is a lost cause.” He sighed 

Aeleus spoke up. “I agree, something must change.” 

“And you Ienzo, what do you think of this proposition?” Ansem took a sip of his drink.

He had had enough of this. He had to say something. Ienzo could feel his eyes start to water.

He stood from his seat and leaned over the table. “How can you… how can you all think this way?! Are you not clear on all that Sora has done to protect the worlds? To protect our world in particular? Many of us wouldn’t even be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for him.” 

Where had this anger come from?

“Right, because he put an end to us.” Dilan replied. He rolled his eyes.

“Dilan… stop.” Aeleus gave him a somewhat threatening look.

“What if the answer we are looking for is in the next file we look at… or in the next book that we read. We can’t just give up. Even I...” He looked towards him. Even refused to meet his gaze.

“Ienzo, you must think logistically about this. Our time is better spent in other areas, you must know that.” Even spoke softly to him, but it didn’t help.

“No, I guess I don’t.” He turned around quickly and began to exit the room. He could feel tears starting to form in his eyes.

“Ienzo!” Aeleus called after him, but he didn’t listen. He continued down the long corridor towards his room.

* * *

Ienzo slammed the door behind him as hard as he could, immediately falling to his knees. He couldn’t stop the tears that ran down his face. He was just so… angry.

“You don’t need this” a familiar voice said, “You are more intelligent than all of them, they just refuse to accept it.”

Ienzo looked up at the shadowy vision standing in front of him. It was him, it was Zexion.

“That’s not true.” Ienzo shook his head 

“No need to lie” the illusion gave him a smirk. “Although that is something that you… no… we… have always been quite good at huh?”

“Get out of my head!” Ienzo yelled through angry tears. He had melted down to the ground, pushing his head into his knees. These visions had been becoming more and more frequent, and that scared him. When he finally opened his eyes the illusion had vanished, and in its place stood another form. Thankfully this was a much friendlier one.

”Master Ansem?” he asked in a whisper.

Ienzo should have been embarrassed. Of all the people to see him like this it had to be him. But he found he did not care. He was too out of it to care. 

“Come on my boy, I’ll help you up.”

They both sat on the edge of Ienzo’s bed. Ienzo couldn’t bear to look at him, so he stared straight down at the carpet below them, avoiding his gaze.

“You have no need to be ashamed of showing your emotions Ienzo, it is okay to be angry. I… shouldn’t have cornered you like that, we shall have a longer and more in-depth conversation about the topic at a later time.”

Ienzo’s eyes remained on the floor.

“Will you look at me my boy?” Ansem held a hand up to Ienzo’s face.

He finally looked back at him, and broke down once again, tears rushing down his face. The embarrassment had finally hit him, and it hit hard.

“Even told me that you were not feeling well? Is there something that I can do for you? He moved his hand to Ienzo’s shoulder 

It took everything in him to not say something that would worry Ansem. “I haven’t been sleeping well, I believe it’s starting to get to me a bit huh?” He gave him a small smile, a few stray tears continued to fall down his cheek. Ansem wiped them away gently with his thumb.

He was fine… he was going to be fine. Ienzo kept repeating this in his head.

“How about I make you some tea then, one that may help with your sleeping situation? I’ve found it quite helpful as of late myself.”

“Yes, I would like that.”

* * *

The tea he was given definitely worked to put him to sleep. Though sleeping of course had its own consequences. Another nightmare, one similar to all the others.

Why was his mind so cruel? 

“You think you can be forgiven? After all you’ve done?” That was his voice, no, not his, Zexion’s.

“I’ve done what I can, and I’ll continue to do so until everyone is safe and back where they belong. My atonement… isn’t finished yet.”

“I’d say, you’ll have to do a little more than that? You did have a hand in the fall of Radiant Garden didn’t you? It seems like you always had a bit of darkness attached to your heart huh?

He didn’t know how to respond.

“Even, Dilan, Aeleus, Braig, Xehanort, and… little Ienzo. How awful you all were. Driving Ansem away when all he did was care for you. Were you always this heartless?”

“We… have all done our time, our suffering.”

“And you made others suffer as well. Did it make you feel any better? What do you feel Cloaked Schemer? Are you satisfied with who you are? Nothing has really changed has it, using other people for your own benefit? Saving Sora is the same, just an excuse for you to be seen as the hero rather than the villain.”

“You know what’s true and what’s false, stop lying to yourself Ienzo.” 

Ienzo fell to his knees. It wasn’t true, no… that wasn’t who he was, right? He squeezed his eyes shut.

When he opened them he was alone once again in his room. His face was hot and wet and his breathing was unsteady. He sat up and looked at the clock on his bedside table. It read 2:50am.

“Just a dream.” he whispered to himself. 

But then why did it hurt so bad? Why did it make him feel like this? Was what the vision in the nightmare told him true? Maybe it was. All he knew was it made him think in ways he shouldn’t, and those thoughts quickly began to eat away at him. 

Why was he even trying when the past would just continue to overshadow any chance he had at moving on? Perhaps his dreams were trying to tell him something, maybe he was only doing all this for himself.

Ienzo stood, he dragged himself out of his room and into the hallway. “I need… to calm down.” he said to himself.

Upon reaching the nearest bathroom, there wasn't one that connected to his room, he turned on the faucet and washed his face with warm water. What Zexion had said was getting to him, his words blocking any other thoughts from reaching Ienzo's brain. 

“Nothing has really changed has it? Using someone else for your own benefit?”

Ienzo looked up from the sink, his eyes catching on his reflection in large mirror that hung above it. He allowed himself to look. 

A mistake.

It was Zexion that looked back at him. No, that wasn’t true, it was surely himself. The reflection wore the same clothing as Ienzo did. But then, why was his nobody all that he could see? 

The dark circles under his eyes had become quite prominent, more than they ever had been. His eyes had become dull as well, no longer the bright blue they were when he was younger. His hair hung limply over the right side of his face, completely obscuring that side of it, and threatening to cover the other. He pulled his hand through it, it caught on knots and tangles. Neglecting it over the years had made it this way.

The voice spoke again in his head

“Don’t you see? Nothing has changed? You are who you were all those years ago.”

“No I’m not! I’m not you Zexion!” His breathing hastened. Hot tears fell down his face once again. He felt so broken. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”

Ienzo stepped back from the mirror, examining his face once again. He ran his hand through the ends of his hair.

“I’m not going to take this from you anymore.”

* * *

He dug through the cabinets in the bathroom, looking for what he needed. Negative thoughts continued on in his brain. His adrenaline was high, and he was determined. There was no stopping what he was planning to do.

He found what he needed in the third cabinet that he looked in, under a small pile of junk. 

Scissors.

He held them in his hands for a second, staring them down, and then glanced again at the mirror in front of him. "This would be a good enough start for now wouldn’t it?" He thought. He brought his fingers up to the ends of his hair once again. His face felt hot.

Ienzo closed his eyes, and began to cut… and cut… and cut. Taking long pieces of his hair in one hand, and hastily cutting with the scissors in his other. At that point it didn’t matter to him what it looked like, he just wanted it gone. He wanted Zexion gone. Chunks of hair fell into the sink in front of him as he continued to cut. tears began to run down his face again, he tried to wipe them away with the palm of his hand but they wouldn’t stop. His hands shook.

The scissors dropped onto the tile floor with a clack, he shortly thereafter joined them there.

It was all gone.

Ienzo curled into a ball, holding his head in his hands. It throbbed. He had no idea how long he sat there. He was so out of it that he barely noticed it when someone knocked on the door. He hadn’t locked it, not expecting to occupy the room nearly as long as he had.

The door opened. Ienzo finally looked up.

It was Demyx.

“Ienzo? What happened in here? He was glad at that point that Demyx had gotten out of the habit of calling him by his nobody’s name. 

“You’re... bleeding.”

“Oh?” How had he not noticed this himself? 

“Here, I’ll help.” Demyx held out his hand and Ienzo slowly took it. “Can’t imagine the floor is that comfortable huh?” He gave Ienzo a small smile.

Ienzo sat himself on the edge of the tub opposite to where he had previously been sitting on the floor. It was low enough that the room’s mirror was out of his view. He was quite thankful for that. 

“I’m going to go and look for something to help with the bleeding, I’ll be right back okay? Don’t move.” Ienzo nodded slowly in return.

Demyx closed the door as he left. For some reason Ienzo felt strangely calm, it was probably the overwhelming shock of all of it. 

It had been quite nice though, that Demyx had yet to ask any questions about what had happened. Demyx had been known as a chatterbox, even more of one than Ienzo. Had something changed in him? Perhaps he was quite different from his nobody and Ienzo hadn’t been around him enough to notice? Nevertheless, It was nice to not be prodded for information, to not be asked a million questions, something he wasn’t used to as of late. 

He didn’t even want to think about how he was going to explain this to everyone. 

When he had become less shaky, he let his hand reach towards the back of his head. As he assumed, the hair in the back of his head had been cut haphazardly. It felt short and choppy. His thoughts were then overshadowed by him pulling his hand back in front of him and having it be covered in blood.

“Dying from exsanguination, that would be something right now wouldn’t it.” he let out another sigh. “A child could have done a better job than this.” 

He leaned forward, sitting with his elbows on his knees and his hands on his forehead.

Demyx finally returned, carrying a first-aid kit in his hand. “Okay, let’s see what I can do here.” He sat on the edge of the tub to the right of Ienzo.

Surprisingly Demyx seemed to do everything right. He cleaned the blood off the best that he could, and put medicine where he could. One of the cuts had been near the top of Ienzo’s forehead, Demyx placed a tiny band-aid over that one carefully.

Ienzo spoke, his throat felt dry. “I must admit… I didn’t think you would know what to do.” 

“Seriously, you guys have no faith in me, cleaning a wound isn’t really rocket science.” He chuckled 

“I suppose not.”

“It’s okay, I’m used to it anyway. I was never very good at anything that was really helpful back then. I guess I was decent at recon? But that’s still a stretch...” He rubbed the back of his head.

This Demyx was still chatty. Noted.

Demyx closed the kit, setting it on the counter. He turned to look at Ienzo. “Was this just a spur of the moment thing? You know it’s like three in the morning right?”

“I guess in the moment I believed that it would make me feel better.” He spoke slowly.

“I guess I sort of understand that. When I woke up all I wanted to do was to separate myself from my past. At least my past in the organization. Everything before that is all still a big blur.” 

“What did you do?”

“I tried, you know, to get away from the places I knew. From all the people I knew too you know? I wanted to restart, but in the end it didn’t work out, I was at a dead end. I’m happy here, I guess it just took a bit to realize that this is where I need to be. I mean, we have all kind of gone through the same thing right?”

“Yes we have haven’t we.”

Demyx sat back down next to him. 

“Even had been telling me that you were having some… issues, nothing specific really, I just assumed he was exaggerating a bit. He gestures to Ienzo’s hair. “Does this have something to do with that or am I wrong here?”

Ienzo looked the other way. Should he tell the truth to Demyx? Would it matter if he did? 

“Like you said… we have all struggled. It’s been hard…” Ienzo’s words were shaky.

“You don’t have to say any more than that if it’ll hurt too much, it’s okay.” Demyx put a hand on his shoulder.

A tear fell down Ienzo’s face. He quickly wiped it away.

“In any case, I can fix it. The hair I mean. All of the other stuff is going to take some time.”

“I don’t really know what you’d be able to do, I know it’s a big mess and I haven’t even seen it.”

Demyx’s eyes had been on him the entire conversation, yet he hadn’t been able to return his gaze. He felt so bare. He kept attempting to pull on the ends of his hair that once hung over his face, only to have that space be unoccupied. It felt wrong, like part of him was missing. 

“I think I can handle it. Or do you want to look at it before you decide?” Demyx gave him a questioning glance.

He decided that looking would only make him feel worse, something he definitely didn’t need right now. Upon once again feeling the uneven length of his hair with his hands the decision became easy. 

“It’s all yours.”

* * *

Ienzo sat on the chair that Demyx had brought for him to sit on. He had brought a different pair of scissors as well, not the worn out ones Ienzo had been using earlier. Those were still on the floor. 

Demyx began to snip away at what had remained of the mess Ienzo had made.

Ienzo closed his eyes.

He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t enjoying the attention a little bit. Demyx worked so gently, running his hands slowly through his hair, most likely to avoid where Ienzo had cut himself earlier on, but it felt… nice. It had been nice to talk with him as well, though the circumstances could have been better.

“It’s going to be really short.” Demyx said quietly, continuing to cut.

“I figured.”

“It doesn’t really look too bad though, just different.”

"That’s… probably for the best." Ienzo replied 

Demyx paused for a moment.

“You should have a talk with Even… I think.”

“Hmm?” Ienzo opened his eyes.

“Like I said, he always talks about you whenever I’m in the lab cleaning, It’s easy to see that he cares a lot about you.” Demyx shifted to work on the other side of his head.

“He was always like that. Before we became nobodies he was the same way. Only then I was only a child. Now that’s he’s reformed he’s seemed to have picked the habit back up.” He sighed “Even was the one who was with me most when I was little. It was easy to tell that he had no idea how to take care of a child, but at least he tried the best he could. I’m thankful for that.”

“I think you should tell him that.”

“I guess… no, you’re right I should. He let out a deep breath. “Obviously isolating myself isn’t helping. If anything it’s making things worse.”

“You have me around too of course, if you ever need anyone to talk to. I’m not sure I’ll always have the answer to your problem, but I’m quite good at talking. Demyx smiled at Ienzo “You might have noticed.”

Ienzo looked up at him, quickly averting his eyes. His face grew warm. 

“Okay, I think this is as good as it’s going to get.” Demyx walked over to the counter and set the scissors down. 

“I can clean this hair up, you should go to bed”

“Thank you again, for this.” He met Demyx’s eyes, then quickly glanced away.

“Happy to help”

Ienzo dreaded leaving the bathroom, leaving this safe space. What would he tell everyone? Ienzo stood and walked towards the mirror, he leaned against the counter. After a moment of deliberating, he glanced up at it.

His hair was quite short, as Demyx had mentioned. It resembled a sort of pixie cut, his bangs fell a little higher than his eyebrows. He pulled at the ends of them. From what he could see, the back of his hair had been cut a similar length, though considering the number of times he had accidentally cut himself earlier he imagined that it probably didn’t look the best. This was not Demyx’s fault of course.

He quickly came to the realization that what was left of his hair wasn’t what was bothering him, rather his face sitting out in the open and his eyes looking back at him. His face had always been obscured by hair, even when he was little, and now the protection it had given him was gone. 

What purpose had it even served? Perhaps to shield the problems with his self esteem that had always lingered within him? He rambled a lot when he was nervous because of this. It was something that was beginning to become apparent to the others at the castle. As Ienzo, back then, he had always been so shy also, and that characteristic had recently returned to him as well. His hair had helped with that also. Not that it mattered now.

Demyx stood behind him with his arms crossed, he watched Ienzo look over himself in the mirror. His face looked worried. “What do you think?” He asked.

“It’s… you did a good job. I’d imagine it looks a lot better than whatever disaster I created earlier.” He gave Demyx a small smile. 

He walked towards him, ruffling Ienzo’s hair carefully as to not to hurt where Ienzo had cut himself. He was fortunate that the bleeding was stopped when it was. “It’ll look better when it grows back a little. But I think I still looks good on you for now. You… have the face for it, short hair I mean.” He looked away for a moment.

“Oh? I… I’m not so sure about that but… thank you.” He turned to face the other way as well, he could feel his face getting hot again. Why did this keep happening?

“I should go to bed then.” He looked back at Demyx. “Are you sure you don’t want me to-“

“I have it handled, go to sleep.” He chuckled. “I’ll see you in the morning? Or probably later than that considering how late it is now.”

“Of course.” Ienzo said, opening the door.

“Goodnight, Ienzo.” 

Ienzo paused as he opened the bathroom door.

“Goodnight, Demyx.” He replied

Ienzo found his way back to his room, quietly closing the door behind him. He laid under the covers in his bed and forced his eyes closed. It was a while before he finally fell asleep.

* * *

Upon cleaning up the mess in the bathroom Demyx was conflicted. Even should know what happened right? But it was so early, and he didn’t want to be rude… He checked the clock, it was close to 4:30am. Demyx was beginning to feel tired himself, he had been planning to go to sleep before he had stumbled on Ienzo. 

“He probably gets up early anyway, he might be already up right now. This is important, I need to tell him what happened.” Demyx spoke quietly to himself 

Demyx was still shaken by what had happened with Ienzo. What would have happened if he hadn’t been there? The thought haunted him. He continued to walk towards Even’s room, which was a few doors down from his own.

He stopped. 

“He’s going to freak out isn’t he… maybe I shouldn’t tell him.” He turned around “No, he needs to know.” Demyx sighed. “I need to tell him.” He continued walking.

He knocked on Even’s door, not expecting an answer. Yet sure enough he got one. 

“Yes?” 

“Can I come in? I… need to talk to you about something. It’s important.”

“I’d assume it must be important considering the current time, come in, the door isn’t locked.” Even’s voice didn’t sound the slightest bit tired despite the time of day.

Even’s room was… something. Books and papers were strewn about everywhere, piles of books were stacked high to the ceiling. Saying it was messy would be an understatement. Even sat at a wooden desk on the left side of the room. Piles of books occupied the space on his desk as well. A book was open to his right while he wrote notes with his left hand. 

“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t had the free time to clean as of late, or the energy to quite honestly.”

“Could that be because you are still awake at four in the morning?” 

Even sighed “That would make sense, yes. But this is something that needs to be finished. I have not the ability to sleep soundly when I have a project left open ended.” 

“That concept didn’t seem to factor into what you guys were talking about at dinner.” He wished he hadn’t said that… it wasn’t his place.

“That’s… different.”

“Hmm.”

He finally turned to face Demyx, setting down the pen he was writing with. “What is the problem?”

“That’s the thing, well… actually, do you think we could take this somewhere else? The library maybe?”

“Seriously boy, you act as if someone has died. Whatever is the matter?” He leaned back in his chair and glanced at Demyx with a questioning look.

Demyx struggled to get any words out.

Even stood from his desk and let out a sigh. “To the library then.” 

* * *

Demyx explained to Even what had happened earlier that night as they sat across from each other in the castle library. Even had made tea for the both of them. Demyx had no idea how Even was functioning so easily this early in the morning. He could, however, practically feel the concern emanating from him as they talked. Even took a sip from his tea, setting it down on the table.

Demyx looked at the floor “I guess I just didn’t realize that he was feeling that way. I haven’t been around enough to notice anything wrong with him.” He took a sip of tea. “I know that we all have our own problems but… Even he just… I don’t even know what to say.”

“Ienzo keeps a lot inside, he always has. I could sense him getting worse the last couple days, but believed that he was just experiencing a rough patch that he would recover from on his own. Now It is clear that I should have done more to help.” He held his head in his hands “I feel quite responsible, that poor boy has been through so much.”

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up over this. Some people are just hard to read, there’s no way that we could have known he would do something like this.” Demyx could tell his reassurance wasn’t working.

“I suppose that this is just very worrying to me. Maybe terrifying is the correct word to use. I already lost him once… I can’t lose him again Demyx.” He met Demyx’s gaze. 

Demyx could see the worry in his eyes. “People do a lot of things they don’t want to when they are upset Even. He did seem a lot better when he left to go to bed.” He readjusted the way he was sitting, they had been in the library talking for a while. 

“He did mention that you were very concerned about him though, so he definitely knows how hard you are trying to help him.” He smiled “in his opinion, you may even be trying too much.”

“I think I can live with that.” Even chuckled, taking another sip of his tea. “What did he say of his hair afterwards? It’s always been a sort of sensitive subject for him.”

“I think the shock sort of delayed any opinion he had of it, he didn’t say much.” Demyx shook his head.

“That makes sense, time will tell then I suppose.” Even brought a hand up to his chin.”

“Was his hair always like that? I mean, before he was a nobody? I can’t remember it being any other way.” He glanced up in thought “I always thought about how much of an annoyance it would be. It looked cool, but other than that… I didn’t really see the appeal I guess”

“From as far back as I can remember it had always been like that, even when he first came to us when he was a child. When he was little he would at least let me run a comb through it, but he was never very happy about it.” He looked to the side “He started refusing to let me do anything with it the older that he got, he didn’t do much with it either, that’s how it ended up the way it was. I feel… bad, I’ve been pestering him to cut it since we were recompleted, do you think that had anything to do with that happened?”

“Like I said, he didn’t really say much about it.”

“I see.”

“Would you be able to talk to him when he wakes up? I told him you two should… I mean, if that’s okay. I don’t mean to push myself into the middle of your business or anything.” Demyx rubbed the back of his head

“No need to worry about that, boy. I’m thankful that you were able to help him. I will have a talk with him.” He stood, picking up the mug that held his tea. “I think we should both get some sleep.”

“You’ll actually be going to bed?”

“We will... see about that.” He gave Demyx a nod as he left the library. 

Demyx followed shortly after. 

* * *

It was around the early hours of the afternoon that Even stood outside of Ienzo’s room. He had brought a tray of food with him, and some tea as well. 

He took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Upon entering Ienzo's room his eyes landed on the large mirror which sat on the top of his desk. It had been covered. He’d had no reason to go into Ienzo’s room as of late, so this was his first time seeing it.

“Oh Ienzo…” he said to himself.

Ienzo had still been asleep, a sight he had never seen before at this time of day. His breathing was slow and calm. Even considered letting him sleep a little longer, he seemed so peaceful. 

He set the tray down on Ienzo’s bedside table, alongside the tea, it contained eggs, bacon, and two slices of toast. Dilan was happy to make it for him considering Even had never been much of a cook. Even for a meal as simple as this. 

He sat down on the edge of Ienzo’s bed. 

What Demyx had told him wrung true, Ienzo’s hair was drastically shorter than it had been before. He never thought he would see the day. He, of course, had been guilty of bugging him to do something about it, but now? It just seemed wrong.

He took another deep breath.

Even carefully shook Ienzo awake. “Ienzo, wake up.” He said softly.

Ienzo’s eyes slowly fluttered open. “Even?” His voice was still groggy from sleep.

“What time is it?” He glanced to the clock on his desk “I overslept? I… didn’t mean to Even I’m-“ He began to get up from the bed.

“You are fine, relax.”

Ienzo looked at him with confusion. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept this long in my life…” He rubbed his eyes. “Is that for me?” He looked towards the food sitting on the table next to him.

“Yes, I figured you would be hungry, you don’t need to eat it if you aren’t however.”

“That was… thoughtful of you.” He snagged the toast from the plate, scarfing it down in a few bites.

“I didn’t make it, Dilan did.”

“I figured.” He rubbed the back of his neck, leaving his hand there for a moment as he pulled at the back of his hair. Ienzo was quickly reminded of what had occurred earlier that morning.

“It’s odd isn’t it?”

“What’s that?”

Ienzo sighed. “You know what I’m talking about.” 

“The way that Demyx described what happened, I thought it would look much worse.”

“He told you? How much did he say?” Even could just sense the anxiety amounting in him.

“Enough to make me more concerned about you than I had previously, something I didn’t think was possible.” Even crossed his arms over his chest.

“I apologize for that… truly.” He joined Even at the edge of his bed. He wrapped a blanket around himself and and sat with his knees to his chest. “You have every right to be worried, I’m not exactly in the right place right now, I think that’s apparent at this point.” He let out a deep breath.

“No need to apologize over something you cannot control.” Even looked towards him. “You’ve been through so much, it makes sense to be experiencing all that you are. You are only human.”

“We have all been through so much Even… I just don’t understand why I’m the only one experiencing all of this… pain.” Ienzo’s hands shook. 

“I have nightmares, I have visions, and nothing that I do does anything to make them go away.” His eyes were becoming glassy.

“I suppose… we are all just better at hiding the problems that plague us. As we are all more experienced at doing such.” 

Even shut his eyes. 

“When I woke the first time after we had been recompleted, I hated myself. I didn’t feel as though I deserved a second chance. I hated everything about who I was, and all the evil that I had done. Even after I was recompleted the second time, the guilt that remained from before the Organization resurfaced once again. This... isn’t an easy process Ienzo, forgiving yourself.”

“I...didn’t realize.” Ienzo said shakily. “I’ve been so unnecessarily cruel to you, and that isn’t right.”

“A lot of it is warranted, I’ll have to admit.”

“Nevertheless, it still makes me feel bad.” Ienzo spoke quietly, almost in a whisper. They both fell silent.

He leaned his head on Even's shoulder. “I’ve never gotten the chance to thank you for taking care of me.

Even chuckled softly. “There’s no need for that, I was never very good at it.”

“It was enough.”

“You’ve grown so much, it’s a bit hard for me to take it in at some points.”

“Don’t you start crying now. I don’t think I could handle it.” Ienzo looked up at him and gave him a smile. “Thank you anyway.”

“Your idea of a coping mechanism seems to be working.” Even spoke under his breath.

“And here I thought we were doing so well..” Ienzo gave him a side eye glare.

“Though maybe be more careful next time and do it without injuring yourself? Or maybe ask someone who actually knows what they are doing?” He ruffled Ienzo’s hair.

“Of course, next time I’ll definitely take the time to ask around.”

“I am only joking you know, you shouldn’t worry too much about it, it looks fine on you." Ienzo’s hair had been the same way for so long, Even couldn’t remember a time when he actually saw his entire face for more than a few seconds. He had always hid behind it, even when he was little. And yet, here Ienzo was, looking back at him with both big blue eyes that he always had. He was young yet, and that youth showed in his face. Despite this he still made Even feel old...

“It’ll just take a little while to get used to I suppose.” Ienzo raked his fingers through it. “I am feeling a lot better, I truly hope this isn’t a flook.” He wiped some stray tears off of his face with his sleeve.

“I think you’ll manage.”

“If managing is avoiding making eye contact with everyone until it’s a more suitable length… then yeah, sure.”

There was a knock on the door. “Anyone in there?” That was Demyx.

“Think I’ll be getting back to work then.” Even stood from his spot. “Take the day please, if I see you in the lab you’ll be banned from entering it for a week.”

Ienzo couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

Even opened the door, Demyx was standing outside of it with his arms crossed. “Oh? Am I interrupting something? I can come back later.” He turned to leave. 

“He’s all yours” Even patted his shoulder as he walked past him. A bit too hard in Demyx’s opinion.

“Ouch...” He sighed, rubbing his shoulder with his hand. “Good to see you finally awake, I thought you’d never wake up.” Demyx made his way into Ienzo’s room, shutting the door behind him.

“I was telling Even, I don’t think I’ve ever slept that long, it felt… really good.” 

“So you did have a talk with him then, that’s good!” Demyx sat next to him on the bed.”

“Good as it’s ever going to get I suppose.”

“Just keep trying, you’ll crack him open eventually.” 

“We will have to see about that.” Ienzo rolled his eyes.

“Oh! So I am here for a reason actually, I wanted to ask you something.” Demyx stood from where he was sitting. “I overhead Even say that you weren’t allowed in the lab right?”

“You heard right.”

Demyx turned his back to him and began to pace along the side of his bed. “I was just wondering, well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to have a picnic with me? I usually just eat on my own but, it would be nice to have some company you know… I was outside earlier and the weather is just perfect and-.”

“Demyx” Ienzo stopped him amiss the rambling. Was this what it was like to be caught up in one of his own tangents? 

“That sounds really nice, I’d be happy to join you.”

“Wait? Really? I mean, that’s great! I just need some time to, you know, prepare some food, and then we can set off.” He was beaming.

“That’s perfect, I need time to change anyway.” He looked down at the clothes he had worn to bed, the same ones he was wearing yesterday. “Want to meet at the castle gates in 20 minutes?”

“That sounds great, see you then!” He then left the room as quickly as he had arrived.

“Ienzo let out a small giggle. “He’s something else.” He said out loud to himself. “Like a puppy.”

* * *

Ienzo changed out of what he had been wearing into something… cleaner, at least. He chose a purple long-sleeved button up shirt and a different pair of black pants. 

He glanced over to the covered mirror sitting on the other side of the room. After a moment of deliberating, he walked over to it and took the sheet off, folding and placing it on his desk. “No use avoiding this anymore.” Ienzo muttered under his breath. 

The mirror had a few cracks in it, but it still held itself together fairly well. There was still enough uncracked surface that he could see himself just fine. He looked for a moment. “This is okay, and I’m okay.”

“Maybe…” He unbuttoned one of buttons from the top of his shirt, taking another look in this mirror. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” He chuckled. In truth he had an excuse, he had worn the same exact outfit for over ten years. Even now he wore the same thing every day as well. 

“What do I do with you then?” He looked towards his hair in the mirror. “Not much I can do…” Ienzo ended up leaving it as it was, combing through it a bit with his fingers. There probably wasn’t a brush or comb in his room anyway, and he didn’t want to go through the embarrassment of asking someone for one. 

That would be for another time.

He headed towards the castle gates, Demyx was already there waiting. How had he prepared food that quick? He had ever seen Demyx be fast at anything in all the years he had known him. Will wonders never cease?

“That was quick.” 

“Oh it’s nothing too special, it didn’t take that long at all. Sorry to disappoint.” Demyx rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sure it’s great.” He gave Demyx a small smile. “Do you want me to carry anything?” Demyx was holding the food in a bag in one arm, and a pitcher of some sort of drink in the other.

“No I’m good, I need the workout anyway.” He chuckled 

“You ready to set off?”

“Of course.”

* * *

They walked through town, greeting people as they went. Ienzo was amazed to see how many people there were out and about. He never thought that Radiant Garden would recover at all, let alone thrive like this. 

“So I’d imagine you know where you are going.”

“Of course, I know this world like the back of my hand!”

“Really? How’s that?” Ienzo was curious, even he didn’t know where they were and he grew up here. Of course it may have changed since it’s reconstruction… but still. 

“I spent a lot of time exploring when I first decided to stay here. I’m not kidding when I say that I have the whole town memorized. I was always good at that sort of stuff, like I told you.”

“Yes, I remember you saying that.” Well he had remembered Demyx saying something like that, but those details had already become blurry in his mind. 

They finally came to a closed gate that had been built into a large stone wall, it was rusted and in bad shape.

“Do you have the key?” Ienzo asks

“No key needed.” He pulled the gate open, it made a loud and uncomfortable noise. They stepped through it.

The opening lead into a large open area. All Ienzo could see was green. Could it have been described as an open courtyard perhaps? Or maybe just a large garden. Either way, it hadn’t been struggling even though it seemed to have been forgotten. There were a few flowers here and there, as well as large shady tree at its center. Most of the space was overgrown with moss and weeds which covered any rock or man-made structure that had once been there. 

“This is… incredible… Demyx, how did you even find this?” Ienzo’s eyes were wide, he didn’t know where to look. 

“Like I said. The things that I’m good at I’m very good at.” He turned to Ienzo “I brought a blanket, so we can sit under the tree”

“Good plan.” Ienzo was still awestruck.

* * *

They sat down and ate what Demyx had prepared. Nothing fancy of course, but still good nonetheless. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches seemed perfect for this specific type of outing. He brought out two plastic cups, filling them both with a fluid unknown to him.. It ended up being some sort of fruity sugary drink. Different… but not that bad.

Demyx had brought cookies as well, homemade ones. Ienzo counted him eat at least five in a span of two minutes. 

“Hey, at least leave one or two for me!” He laughed

“No need to fear, I brought a ton for this exact reason.” Demyx winked at him.

“I would expect no less”

They talked a bit, about little unimportant things. Demyx lead the conversation, truly an accomplishment considering how well Ienzo was known for rambling himself.

Demyx laid back in the grass behind him, folding his arms behind his head. He looked towards the sky.

“We should do this again sometime.” He said, still looking upwards. “This has been really nice, I can’t even remember a time when I ate with someone like this.”

“You’d really want to?” Ienzo was caught off guard by what he had said. He assumed Demyx had decided to hang around with him that day out of pity.

“I mean, if you really don’t want to hang out with me I under-”

“No… no that’s not it.” Ienzo rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve just never really done something like this before, with anyone? Sorry, I know that sounds quite pitiful. “ Ienzo looked away. “Anyway, yes, I think that we should… come here… again.” He could feel his face heating up. “I’ve enjoyed this as well.”

“Good! It’s settled then!” He laughed 

Ienzo laid beside him and looked towards the clouds, the sun barely peeking out from behind them. 

“This doesn’t seem real, any of this.” Ienzo sighed and closed his eyes. “But I’ll take it, even if this is just another dream.”

Demyx reached over to him and pinched him softly on his left arm. Ienzo’s eyes shot open.

“Ouch! What was that for?” He sat up and rubbed his arm.

“To make you see that you’re not dreaming… duh. “ he had a huge smile on his face.”

“You are crazy.” He let out a small laugh.

Demyx sat up and looked at him. “All that bad stuff is in the past now and is done and over with. It’s totally okay for us to take advantage of things like this.” He let out a sigh. 

“And if anything or anyone tries to take that away for either one of us I’ll beat them up.” Demyx pumped his fist in the air.

Ienzo turned to face him. 

“Promise?” 

“I Promise.” 

Demyx grabbed his drink and raised it up. “To new beginnings huh?”

Ienzo raised his as well. “To new beginnings.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> This started out as a much smaller fic, but in the end ended up much longer. I really have a soft spot for all of the apprentices, which was what inspired this. Ienzo, who didn't deserve any of it, has gone through so much in his life, and I just wanted him to have someone to talk to and hang out with. Hence, the one and only Demyx!


End file.
